WEEK 1

What a wonderful, strange, overwhelming week we've had.

I'm not sure what I was expecting. This isn't really it, but it's also so much more. I guess that's kind of the point. And frankly, it's my experience with every other important thing in my life-- what married life is like, what divorced life is like, visiting London for the first time, etc.-- so I guess it's an indicator that I'm on the right track. The next two years seem like they'll pass so very slowly but also very quickly. I have a feeling I'm going to be caught in that sense of back-and-forth dichotomy a lot during my time at BSA.

A lot of this week was "getting to know you," as I expected. Since we'll work with most of these people over the next two years I was invested in and happy to do a more extensive kind of introduction in each class. I felt really specifically as if the tutors want to know us all individually. I felt very important to each one of them. This is so important to me as I set out on this experience with a whole group of people who are also wanting to improve themselves as actors. I really feel like this place can give me individual attention in a group setting.

I'm also surprised by how much of this week I felt so relatively comfortable in each of the classes. I feel distinctly that I haven't failed anything so far. Not that I could on a first day, but I mean that I think I, at very least, have enough experience in the subject of each course that I have solid footing t move forward. I don't know what I expected-- I don't think I thought I'd be overwhelmed or knocked over in any class, especially the first day, but I guess I didn't expect to feel this comfortable in each class. It gives me encouragement to move forward. I'm in the right place.

I can't say I know the rest of the cohort well enough to weigh in on where everyone else stands, though I'm a bit surprised some of them don't have any exposure to some things that I find pretty basic and necessary for actors (ex: matching pitch for singing, basic movement, etc.). We're still getting to know each other and I have every expectation that we'll continue to surprise each other, but I suppose I expected everyone to be at a more similar level within each subject. I'm interested to see how my expectations continue to be blown up.

Movement: I AM RUSTY. But my background in dance will not only be quite helpful, I think it'll help me get back on my feet (so to speak) a lot faster. I'm so glad I've already been walking around the city for the last month. I can't imagine what things would be like if I had come straight from my desk job life. I'm much more interested in stage combat than I expected. I love Keith. I'm quite interested in working on some folk dancing-- I'll feel right at home! Not convinced by chi qong yet, but I don't really love yoga and it reminds me of yoga... I want to be in the fittest physical condition of my life by the time I graduate.

Singing: What is this Estill method? I'm so intrigued. It's like nothing I feel like I've ever encountered, but we haven't really done enough singing yet for me to grasp what it's all about. I have a feeling I'll be undoing a lot of the training I've already got. I love the motto though: Craft + Artistry = Performance Magic. This is something I can get behind in a big way. I want to be an excellent singer and an excellent singing actress by the time I graduate.

Voice: This is the area I feel the least comfortable in. I have zero formal voice training. So far there's a lot discussion about voice in Francoise's class and a lot of feeling in Simon's, but I feel quite prepared for Phyllida's class. Dialects interest me and I learn them easily/well. I'm glad to get some formal help from someone who can really help me-- and is native to England!!! I want to have real insight to and control of my voice, and the physical and emotional freedom to have real vocal agility by the time I graduate.

Acting/Workshop: This is the area I expected to be most self-conscious, and I was right. I'm self-conscious because it's not wholly unfamiliar given my professional experience but I've never attended a single formal acting class. Sure enough-- many of the exercises we've done so far are entirely unfamiliar and frankly uncomfortable. I've never been a good improver, and while I understand the value of it, and I'm totally willing to dive in and do it, I am so unsure of myself in every single second of it. There are others who are totally comfortable and it's very hard not to compare myself. I also feel like I have a hard time expressing exactly what I mean, probably stemming from my unsurety. I have felt corrected about rather subjective things, and while I understand the value of feedback and correction, I'm also unused to being "wrong" about things like my personal acting motto. I also feel like there are others in the cohort who has FAR less practical or "real world" experience than I do, and sometimes the academic answer isn't as important as the practical answer. I don't know. I'm anticipating Wednesday may be my hardest day because it is everything I want to improve most for myself. I want to be a legitimate, consummate actor by the time I graduate.